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Thursday, September 30, 2021

A Life Sentence: Rory’s True Story

 I walked up to the window at the county jail and asked if my son could use his knee brace in the jail. The guard answered with absolutely no emotion, “WE TAKE EVERYTHING!” I walked away thinking, no truer words have ever been spoken. My son turned himself in and all the way home all I could think of was the guard’s words and the nightmare of a journey we had been on.

My son’s involvement with criminal justice began a week after his 18th birthday. He was charged with 3rd degree possession that led to years of probation violations for positive drug tests and more non-violent possession charges for his personal use. He was trapped in a punitive system that did far more damage than good. Years of the same mandatory treatment for substance use never addressed the underlying issues that ultimately lead him to self-medicating.

In the beginning, like many families, I had hoped that accountability and forced treatment would result in recovery. What happened was the opposite. He became an outcast in our community and most of the family was angry because his struggle to find recovery affected how they were judged in the community. Every failure to get well was criminalized which made him cope the only way he knew how, more substances.

He was diagnosed with ADHD and bi-polar disorder in his teens, but the only treatment focus was on his substance use. No one discussed medications with him or re-evaluated him while on medications in his 11 years in the system. Addressing trauma from jail and prison and the 40 friends and acquaintances he lost was never part of any treatment plan. No one talked about his multiple overdoses and asked him if he ever wished he would die to escape the pain.

At 29 years old, he was not permitted to leave the state since he became an adult. No vacations, no job opportunities in other areas, missing grandparents’ funerals, etc. 

He wanted to be a commercial fisherman since he was 6 years old, but it is a field that can be high risk for individuals with substance use disorder, so it was not allowed. Instead of treating the underlying issues and using his passion as a motivator to stay well he was denied the only thing he ever cared about, leading to debilitating depression and punishment for being unable to function and meet court requirements. Non-compliance was a violation, punished by MORE treatment or prison.

Mental health symptoms got worse over the years, despite going to approximately 20 treatment programs. His hopelessness and overwhelming grief for the life he dreamed of since he was a young boy fills me with sadness.  The system imprisoned him for the last 11 years!  

And now it has taken him from me.  My dynamic and hysterically funny son, with a generous heart, recently lost his battle with mental health and substance use disorders.  When Rory sought help for his disease, he instead received punishment.  Rather than criminalizing his illness, a more refined and caring treatment response might have helped our family avoid this unspeakably tragic loss.


Tonia Ahern

Mother and Advocate